Set Apart

In this crazy world that we live in, us moms have a super important job. We are constantly dealing with the never ending loads of laundry and the cooking and the cleaning and getting our kids to sports events on time. Yet it is about more than simply meeting the physical needs of our children. It's also about meeting the emotional and spiritual needs of our children.

God has tasked parents with representing to their children a glimpse of who He is. Do your children see Christ in you?

One of two things can happen when we think about this. First, it can seem like a daunting impossible task. I mean, after all, no one can represent God more accurately than... well, God. When we try, we fail miserably. We place undue pressure upon ourselves that makes us feel not only like a failure but like we're carrying a heavy burden of expectation on our shoulders. To attempt to make sure our children see a perfectly put together parent, isn't exactly what I believe God has in mind for us.

The second way we can look at it is simply to let go, and let God. Our perspective needs to shift from feeling a sense of obligation to a sense of privilege. It's an honor for us to have the opportunity to show our children who Christ is and to let Christ do His perfect work in us.

Truth is, it IS impossible for us to be perfect. But Christ is perfect. And when Christ lives in us, His perfection shines through. When we walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh, we are allowing Him to do His will in and through us.

You see, we are called to be set apart, separate from the world. But what is it that makes us different? We are born into the same world, we have the same fallen sinful human nature, we run into the same kinds of problems, we face the same kinds of circumstances and failures and tragedies. We are not exempt from any of those things, so what is it really that sets us apart from the world?

The difference is in our hearts, our attitudes and ultimately our actions in how we respond. Whenever anything happens to us in our lives we are faced with a choice of how we will respond. We have a natural inclination for self preservation and to allow pride to rear its ugly head. We tend to want to take control of a situation when life gets crazy.

But we are called to respond against our natural inclination. We are called to reject pride. We are called to respond with humility and grace and mercy and love. We are called to let go, and let God.

It's in the middle of those hardships, when we are faced with choices of how we will respond, we have an opportunity to be different, to be set apart, to step aside and not let the world see us, but to let the world see Christ. When every selfish fiber of our being screams that we have our rights and we want our own way, but instead the power of Christ has His way in us.

You see, we cannot meet the spiritual needs of our children unless we are walking in the Spirit. And to walk in the Spirit means that we must first get out of the way. It goes against everything we "feel" like doing. But it's the only way we will truly have peace in our home. It's the only way we will have joy beyond circumstances and it's the only way our children will know Love [and no the capitalization of that word is not a typo. God is love, and it's the only way for our children to know God.]

You are not just another mama. You are a beautiful creation of God who is called to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You are equipped through the resurrection power of Christ and enabled by the Holy Spirit to do the work of your Heavenly Father. You have been given one of the most challenging yet rewarding tasks on this earth... to raise the next generation. But only when Christ has His way in you.

So mama, on those days when your child(ren) are clawing at you, and in those moments when you just want five minutes of peace, ALONE! Remember, it's not in your own strength that will get you through this, because you can't do it alone. But it is in His strength. It is when you let go and let God take control of your heart; When you let Him be seen instead of yourself; When you surrender to His will instead of fight for your own way; it's when you don't respond in the flesh, but in the Spirit. That is how your children will see Christ in you. That is how you will meet the spiritual needs of your kids. And that is how you will be set apart.

Parenting: Are You Thriving or Surviving?

Years ago I worked in a residential facility for troubled girls as a live-in house staff. I began working there even before the place officially opened up and there was a lot of work put into figuring out how the program would be run. Everyone there had a heart and passion for the ministry, but few other than myself had any formal training or had experience in dealing with juveniles. Still, four years in college of participating in a once a week "Action Group" hardly qualified me as having experience. I was fresh out of college with more head knowledge about it than real hands on experience (at least with girls... I had plenty of experience dealing with juvenile boys since my parents did foster care with delinquents when I was a teen myself). We quickly learned that having a heart for something isn't enough to make it work.

Within a few months of officially opening, the facility was in a delicate place. Without any formal training the other house staff and even the counselor were tackling a job they were not prepared to handle. We were running into more issues with the girls in the program than we could keep up with while attempting to stay on the same page as a team.

I recall a conversation with the director who shared how he felt like we were all in over our heads and rather than "keeping things afloat," he felt like we were barely keeping our heads above the water. Rather than thriving, we were simply surviving.

I don't know about you, but I certainly feel that way with parenting some days. Even before I became a mom, I read a lot of books and went to different classes. I tried to learn as much as I could about it so I would be prepared and wouldn't make all the same mistakes of the predecessors before me. But nothing could make me feel more ill qualified for parenthood like experiencing it.

It wasn't long after becoming a mom that I felt like I was in over my head. From enduring the sound of constant whining to cleaning up messes to sleep deprivation (a biggie for me... Did you know that after being sleep deprived for 72 hours you're considered legally insane?), parenting is a never ending sea of challenges with waves crashing around on every side. Not only does parenting demand so much of me, but there are rarely if ever any immediate rewards for all my efforts. And even though us moms can often multitask, it is still quite overwhelming at times.

If there's one thing I've learned about parenting, it is that you absolutely cannot do a good job in your own strength. It's impossible! I desperately need God to intercede on my behalf. It will be completely by God's grace if my children don't pick up my bad habit or my sinful attitudes because I fail daily.

We are born selfish, with needs that we want immediately gratified. Yet when we become parents, we are forced to be less selfish and less demanding. Some parents really have a hard time with this... Actually all parents do, but some are less willing to admit it and some are more resistant to becoming less selfish.

Parenting is not the kind of trial that makes you crazy, its the kind that exposes the crazy that was already buried inside. It's as if parenting is the ultimate test for a parent's character. If there's a sinful attitude within the heart, somehow a small child will bring it to the surface. There's nothing like having a child to expose all your imperfections, weaknesses and selfish nature. And while we as moms may get mad because the fact that we're not perfect and don't have it all together and can't do it all, instead we should thank God for giving us our children to challenge us to be more self sacrificing. Parenting truly is a process of daily dying to self. It is painful. It is humbling. But it's also God's grace in action.

The world tells us that rather than dying to self we need to pamper ourselves and focus on our own needs. But that's not what the Word of God teaches us. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, so we don't get swallowed in our own little selfish world, is be loving and giving and selfless toward someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should neglect ourselves. Neglecting to take care of ourselves is really just another way to have a pity party. But getting our focus off ourselves and allowing God to use us to raise the kind of godly children He desires is truly one of the most difficult and life-changing things a person can experience. 

God doesn't just want us to "survivie" parenthood. He wants us to thrive! That's the beautiful thing about God. Even though He meets us where we're at, in the mess of a life we make, He doesn't leave us there. He gives us opportunities to improve and if we allow Him, He empowers us to do some amazing things! He forgives us when we mess up and He uses our children as tools to shape our character. When we are letting Him work in and through us, we are not only keeping our heads above the water or the boat afloat, but we are, like Peter, stepping out of the boat and walking on the water.

My Contribution

When I think about the blogging world I stop and ask myself what I could write that hasn't already been written? What can I say that hasn't already been said? What do I have to offer people that hasn't already been shared? What can I possibly contribute in this world of mass media?

I am reminded in Ecclesiastes 1:9 "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun." Did you read that? There is absolutely NOTHING new under the sun. Every emotional experience that could happen has happened. Every joy, every heartache has happened before and will happen again! It's all been said and done before! So all of these other bloggers aren't saying anything new either!

But sometimes you have to hear something for the hundredth time in just a different way before it finally cliques and makes sense in your mind. It's not just about knowing that others have shared in the same kind of experience in the past, but to know that someone is experiencing it together with you now! That's what fellowship is all about: sharing in each other's experiences. Galatians 6:2 tells us that we are to "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." I want to encourage, I want to inspire, I want to remind people of truths and share with them the hope that I have found in Christ! 

There may be thousands of other people blogging about the same thing, or writing books on the subjects, or giving lectures about it etc. But that doesn't mean I have nothing to contribute. It doesn't mean that my words are not worth writing because they will simply get drowned out in the sea of other voices sharing their experiences too. There are many other people out there that are on that same journey with me. 

So what is it that I contribute? It's nothing new, but its about sharing with you the journey that God is taking me through in this life. It is how God is molding and shaping me. My journey is different than yours and by no means do I think your experience should look exactly like mine. But that's the point... I am on a journey through this life and I can share with others what I have learned or what I am learning along the way.

I say this because I not only want to remind myself that I have something worth saying, but to encourage others out there who have thought about doing something like this but have always let the voices of fear and doubt shout louder than that small still voice of God who tells them to take that step of faith and see where He takes them.

My sentences may not be perfectly structured and my train of though may perhaps sometimes be all over the place (I have a tendency to blend concepts)... It's not perfect, but that's ok. I have to start somewhere! I may not think I have anything new and exciting to say, but on the other hand I don't know how God might just use it to impact others.

Morning Graces

I am soooooo not a morning person and my oldest son is. I have such a hard time with the constant energetic chatter when I first wake up and the "Mommy come here! Mommy look at this! Mommy [fill in the blank with a deep question about the universe]." And then imagine someone playing a broken record that is just full of random audio sounds... "Lalala, beep beep ,honk, ding dong, boing boing boing, aooga, deedle, doop doop,ding-a-ling, hummmmmm, chink, chong, aaaaaah, bubbu bubba, brrrrrrm, honk, toot toot, badonka, woosh, buzzzzzzz"... And as if that's not enough, a sprawl with the sibling often inevitably ensues....*sigh

Lord, I NEED your grace in those moments... When I want to just curl up and go back to sleep... Let my heart instead be filled with love and compassion and joy knowing that my children are only little once and they have such a great desire to be with me and to share their excitement with me.

I asked my oldest son one time why he was constantly in my face every two seconds first thing in the morning and his reply was "because I love you and just want to be with you mom!"

What a humbling reminder to me of these precious moments.

Next time any of you other mamas feel this way, just pray for God's grace and remind yourselves of these truths.

"Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation! Selah" Psalms 68:19

St. Patrick's Day Fun

Kids LOVE make believe. And while my children know the truth about Santa, the Easter bunny and even Leprechauns, they enjoy pretending and making up fun stories and adventures with fairy tale creatures. For Christmas and Easter we keep the focus on Christ and what He did for us. This is something as a family we have made as a greater priority. So while we do crafts and fun stuff for those holidays, there is less of Santa crafts and more of Jesus in a manger and less of making Easter eggs and more of making an empty tomb snack or craft.

Recently, there has become popularity among other holidays, such as St. Patrick's Day, to spur on a child's imagination with creative make believe. So this year for the first time, my children and I are delving into the realm of make believe play with this holiday and are planning to "catch a Leprechaun."

Using an old shoebox, we painted it green with acrylic paint then decorated it in patterns with foam stickers.

My eldest son even created a four leaf clover by combining four hearts together. We made it as colorful as possible since we discovered that Leprechauns LOVE rainbows and all the colors of the rainbow. They also are attracted to shiny things such as glitter and gold. So we also decorated the box with a bit of glitter glue in gold, red, and green.

We used the lid of the box as the base and the bottom of the box as the top that falls and traps the Leprechaun. Then we put a little container filled with toy coins as the bait to lure the leprechaun into the trap. On the eve of St. Patrick's Day we will strategically place the trap somewhere in the house and leave it out overnight. Then in the morning, we shall come and see if we have caught one. Leprechauns, we are told, are quite clever, so we shall see what happens.

Do you have any fun St. Patrick's Day traditions or have you done anything creative like this before? Please share some of your ideas! I would love to hear about them. I'm not sure if this is something that can be an every year tradition as it may get old, but perhaps if we found out other creative ways to "trap a leprechaun" my children may enjoy this sort of fun for a few more years.

Death, Life, and the Red Sox

These past few months have been challenging. In the midst of the normal everyday busyness that a mom faces, my life has been struck with tragedy. On October 25th, my 93 year old grandfather was in a car accident while driving to the senior center he visits on a daily basis. Everyone in the other vehicle was fine, but my grandfather suffered broken ribs from the impact. He was taken to the hospital where the family was told he may not have long to live.

For the next week, my parents and siblings went to visit him as well as other extended family members. I wrestled with whether or not to visit him because I was sick with bronchitis and he was very susceptible to contracting pneumonia. After some conversations with my family and my husband, I finally decided to go anyway and simply take every precaution.

I had a very pleasant visit. My husband and parents came as well. I wasn't able to accurately compare his well-being to previous days since it was my first time seeing him, but my father said it was the best he's seen him so far.

He was awake for a majority of the time we were there thought not always fully alert. He answered questions mostly with nods or shaking his head, but a few times gave a very enthusiastic "great!" or "yeah!"
They brought him a full meal while we were there, though he couldn't likely chew and swallow well since he had just had a breathing tube removed. He had a couple tiny nibbles of rice that took a very long time to chew (especially since the nurse couldn't get his teeth in at the time).

My grandfather, an avid Red Sox fan lived to see the Red Sox win the world series. I'm sure God had a plethora of other reason why He allowed the Red Sox to win the world series, but I cannot help but think, that somewhere in the midst of His grand scheme, He cared enough to allow my grandfather that special blessing and joy of seeing them win before he passed away.

One of the special moments I was able to share with him was when my parents stepped out of the room to find a nurse. While they were gone I took the opportunity to tell my grandfather he was going to have another great-grandchild. I hadn't announced it to the family yet, which was why I waited until my parents left and my husband guarded the door. But for some reason it was important to me that he knew. He gave me a smile and nodded in an understanding way.

As the evening settled in, we put in a special order for him to have a rootbeer float (one of his favorite treats) and after a long wait, were able to witness him thoroughly enjoy it. As much as his throat hurt, the nurse couldn't feed it to him quickly enough. And afterwards he was exhausted, so we let him rest, and quietly slipped out the door to head home.

In the wee morning hours on November 5th, my grandfather went to be with the Lord. I am forever grateful to have spent those last few hours with him the day before and to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I will cherish the memory of being able to serve him, even if only in a simple way, by feeding him his jello earlier in the afternoon. What a blessing to know such an amazing man.

At his funeral last weekend, family shared special memories they had with him and how they remembered him growing up. It was bittersweet to know that he is no longer in pain and celebrating with his Savior, yet we miss him so much!

For any of you who has experienced the loss of a loved one, you know what it's like. There is nothing more comforting than knowing your loved one had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This makes their departure bearable. We know that earthly death is not the end, but rather the beginning of eternity with God. For it is because of these truths that we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again. Knowing that gives me joy and I look forward to that day.

2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord."
Philippians 3:20-21 "For out citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself."

When Things Don't Go As Planned

So, my plan was to compose a blog post on a weekly basis. I had set goals for myself and worked out a scheduled. I limited my other commitments so I could make sure to set aside time to work on it. I had even worked on a few blogs in advance in case inspiration waned or schedules got busy.

I was excited and ready to go! For a few weeks I posted consistently, and then it happened... My computer got messed up. I still haven't figured out what actually happened. I simply was not able to access my blog site. It would freeze every time or every time I clicked on a page or post it would just ask if I wanted to sign in again and go back to reloading the first page. I couldn't click on any of my posts. After a few weeks (OK months) of trying to access it to no avail and finally able to have my husband take a look to see what was wrong, I'm finally back!

Sometimes things in our lives don't go the way we plan. As a busy mom, my life can be quite hectic. More often than not, things don't go as planned. Whether its not getting a good nights sleep, or a dirty diaper, or an unexpected phone call, or burning dinner because I was dealing with sibling rivalry or getting the kids ready to go somewhere only for one of them to spill something on their clothes.

Life is full of interruptions and circumstances WAY beyond our control. But it is in those moments, we have a choice of how we're going to respond. It is in those moments when the faith we claim to have, is put to the test. Do we really trust God? Do we really love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength? Is He really the Lord of our life, or are we going to allow our circumstances to be the dictator? We ALWAYS have a choice.  We can either run to God, or run from Him. We can either become bitter, or we can become better. We can respond in frustration and anger, or we can respond with grace. It is in those critical moments of the everyday interruptions and interactions that we prove to ourselves whether our faith is genuine or not.

1 Peter 1:6-7 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, my be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."