Death, Life, and the Red Sox

These past few months have been challenging. In the midst of the normal everyday busyness that a mom faces, my life has been struck with tragedy. On October 25th, my 93 year old grandfather was in a car accident while driving to the senior center he visits on a daily basis. Everyone in the other vehicle was fine, but my grandfather suffered broken ribs from the impact. He was taken to the hospital where the family was told he may not have long to live.

For the next week, my parents and siblings went to visit him as well as other extended family members. I wrestled with whether or not to visit him because I was sick with bronchitis and he was very susceptible to contracting pneumonia. After some conversations with my family and my husband, I finally decided to go anyway and simply take every precaution.

I had a very pleasant visit. My husband and parents came as well. I wasn't able to accurately compare his well-being to previous days since it was my first time seeing him, but my father said it was the best he's seen him so far.

He was awake for a majority of the time we were there thought not always fully alert. He answered questions mostly with nods or shaking his head, but a few times gave a very enthusiastic "great!" or "yeah!"
They brought him a full meal while we were there, though he couldn't likely chew and swallow well since he had just had a breathing tube removed. He had a couple tiny nibbles of rice that took a very long time to chew (especially since the nurse couldn't get his teeth in at the time).

My grandfather, an avid Red Sox fan lived to see the Red Sox win the world series. I'm sure God had a plethora of other reason why He allowed the Red Sox to win the world series, but I cannot help but think, that somewhere in the midst of His grand scheme, He cared enough to allow my grandfather that special blessing and joy of seeing them win before he passed away.

One of the special moments I was able to share with him was when my parents stepped out of the room to find a nurse. While they were gone I took the opportunity to tell my grandfather he was going to have another great-grandchild. I hadn't announced it to the family yet, which was why I waited until my parents left and my husband guarded the door. But for some reason it was important to me that he knew. He gave me a smile and nodded in an understanding way.

As the evening settled in, we put in a special order for him to have a rootbeer float (one of his favorite treats) and after a long wait, were able to witness him thoroughly enjoy it. As much as his throat hurt, the nurse couldn't feed it to him quickly enough. And afterwards he was exhausted, so we let him rest, and quietly slipped out the door to head home.

In the wee morning hours on November 5th, my grandfather went to be with the Lord. I am forever grateful to have spent those last few hours with him the day before and to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I will cherish the memory of being able to serve him, even if only in a simple way, by feeding him his jello earlier in the afternoon. What a blessing to know such an amazing man.

At his funeral last weekend, family shared special memories they had with him and how they remembered him growing up. It was bittersweet to know that he is no longer in pain and celebrating with his Savior, yet we miss him so much!

For any of you who has experienced the loss of a loved one, you know what it's like. There is nothing more comforting than knowing your loved one had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This makes their departure bearable. We know that earthly death is not the end, but rather the beginning of eternity with God. For it is because of these truths that we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again. Knowing that gives me joy and I look forward to that day.

2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord."
Philippians 3:20-21 "For out citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself."

When Things Don't Go As Planned

So, my plan was to compose a blog post on a weekly basis. I had set goals for myself and worked out a scheduled. I limited my other commitments so I could make sure to set aside time to work on it. I had even worked on a few blogs in advance in case inspiration waned or schedules got busy.

I was excited and ready to go! For a few weeks I posted consistently, and then it happened... My computer got messed up. I still haven't figured out what actually happened. I simply was not able to access my blog site. It would freeze every time or every time I clicked on a page or post it would just ask if I wanted to sign in again and go back to reloading the first page. I couldn't click on any of my posts. After a few weeks (OK months) of trying to access it to no avail and finally able to have my husband take a look to see what was wrong, I'm finally back!

Sometimes things in our lives don't go the way we plan. As a busy mom, my life can be quite hectic. More often than not, things don't go as planned. Whether its not getting a good nights sleep, or a dirty diaper, or an unexpected phone call, or burning dinner because I was dealing with sibling rivalry or getting the kids ready to go somewhere only for one of them to spill something on their clothes.

Life is full of interruptions and circumstances WAY beyond our control. But it is in those moments, we have a choice of how we're going to respond. It is in those moments when the faith we claim to have, is put to the test. Do we really trust God? Do we really love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength? Is He really the Lord of our life, or are we going to allow our circumstances to be the dictator? We ALWAYS have a choice.  We can either run to God, or run from Him. We can either become bitter, or we can become better. We can respond in frustration and anger, or we can respond with grace. It is in those critical moments of the everyday interruptions and interactions that we prove to ourselves whether our faith is genuine or not.

1 Peter 1:6-7 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, my be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

What Do Our Prayers Expose?

Prayer is not for the benefit of God. God is omniscient, so He already knows whats on your mind, and whats on your heart. But one of the purposes of prayer is for Him to expose to YOU what is really in your heart, and to help you be aware of and often adjust your attitude. The longer time you spend pouring your heart out to God, the more He reveals to you what is there. Whenever you find yourself avoiding a heart to heart with God, that's an indicator that your heart is not in the right place and that you're refusing to see what God already knows about you.
Matthew 12:34b "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

Coming Soon!

Be patient! A new blog post is coming soon!!! Been busy with the first day of school!!!

The Superman (or Superwoman) Complex

So lately my three year old son has been on a Superman kick. With the help of grandparents, he now has a Superman costume, Superman pajamas (with a detachable cape), a glow-in-the dark Superman t-shirt, and a regular Superman t-shirt. Minutes after dressing him for the day, I will notice he has once again changed his shirt back to his Superman pajamas and is racing around the house with one hand on his hip and the other fist forward mimicking the theme song to the Christopher Reeves Superman movies. When asked who he wants to be when he grows up, he quickly answers "Superman!" After all, who wouldn't want to be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?

Sometimes I catch myself attempting to be a Super-woman. I try to be someone I'm not. I try to do it all. At one point, I was working a part time job as a receptionist at a nursing home, a part time job doing home shows as a Premier Designs Jewelry Consultant, a once a week job babysitting, a once a week job housekeeping for a friend all while being a full time housekeeper of my own home, cook, wife, a homeschool mother of two energetic boys, as well as a volunteer youth group leader, Sunday school teacher, and counselor. It was a recipe for burnout and I quickly found out I needed to eliminate a few things I was involved in and prioritize better.

I don't want to be pulled in a million different directions, but I feel like a Pioneer exploring all new territory. I am new at writing (college papers don't count), new at blogging (I still haven't figured out how to really set up my blog the way I'd like it to be), new at homeschooling, and I only have 5 years under my belt as a mother and 6 years as a wife. There are so many things I want to do and be a part of and learn about and I find myself getting caught up in the excitement of the moment only to realize I've jumped on another bandwagon that has taken me off course. I read other women's blogs who are speakers and have years of blogging experience and parenting under their belts and I get overwhelmed at what I would like to accomplish someday.

Then God gives me a dose of perspective, brings me back down to earth, and reminds me to just be faithful in the little things. Instead of striving to be like all these other women (or in my mind, Super-women), I need to simply get alone with God and ask Him what he desires for me and my life now. After all, I want to be the woman God has called ME to be, not the woman He's called someone else to be. I want to follow His will for MY life, not what someone else says I should be.

That's not to say other women aren't to be emulated. As a matter of fact, if they're following the principle of "imitate me as I imitate Christ" then they are certainly great roll models to look to. But I have found that rather than jumping on the wagon of another woman's passion and calling, I am most satisfied in Him, when I use the gifts and talents that He's given me to honor and glorify Him.

I don't need to be a Super-woman. I don't need to do it all. I just need to be the woman God has designed me to be; the woman He has called me to be! And when I get my focus back on Him and the truths that I know, He begins to reveal to me little by little what that woman looks like.

Here Goes Nothing...

Okay, so I've been trying to begin a blog for a long time, but I'm not sure where to start. I'll be totally honest... I have no idea what I'm doing! I haven't done a ton of research on blogging, I'm not really sure where to begin, which direction I want to go with this blog and quite frankly, I don't know if I really want to share my thoughts with other people who may end up totally misunderstanding, taking my words out of context, or judging me!
You see, actually, I'm kind of torn about the whole thing. I know that the Lord has been leading me in this direction, and by faith, I'm trying to walk in it. I'm the type of person who likes to be prepared. I like having all my ducks in a row before crossing the street (bad combination of analogies, but I hope you get the picture). But lately I've been (re)learning that sometimes obedience comes first before the understanding. I don't really understand what I'm supposed to blog about, only that the Lord is wanting me to blog. So I'm trying to walk in obedience to that.
There are two scripture verses that keep coming to mind when I think about blogging. First, I'm reminded of Psalm 119:105 "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." It doesn't say that it's a spotlight that shines a mile down the road. It says it's a lamp for my feet. It shines only enough light for me to see the next step ahead of me. I want to know where this path will lead because I want control of it, but God keeps reassuring me that He knows what He's doing and I just need to trust Him, and follow in obedience. The second verse that comes to mind for me is found in Luke 16:10a which says "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much." I don't know where blogging will lead, but I want to be faithful in it. As feeble as my attempts may be, I am going to try to be consistent in writing something. So here goes nothing...
Pray for me as I begin this journey!

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog. I am brand new to the blogging world, so it may take me a while to adjust and figure out what I'm doing. My husband is the computer/tech savvy person in our family, and usually when it comes to these kinds of things, I simply leave it to his expertise to figure things out, then get out of the way so I don't cause an epic computer disaster.
However, since this is something I am going to attempt to keep up with on a semi-regular basis, I figured it was about time I learn a thing or two about the world of computers.
Feel free to share some of your blogging tips!!! I'd love to hear from you!!!